Couple refuses friends and family demands to move in and stay at their 4200-square-foot home: ‘We are getting very tired of people continuing to move in as we have the room’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Apr 15, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Here's an absolutely unrelatable problem: everyone wants to shack up at your gorgeous, sprawling, 4200-square-foot home. I am deeply underqualified to judge this scenario. By underqualified, I mean I am answering you from a shoebox-sized, one-bedroom cave, praying my landlord doesn't raise my rent if I so much as sneeze too loud. But, qualifications be damned, I'm taking this on because the laws of hospitality are universal. It doesn't matter if you're living in a château or your parents' basement, letting someone move in is not just a casual favor. It's strapping a boulder to your back and smiling as people pile more on.  

Guests overstaying their welcome at dinner is annoying. The friend who lingers long after dessert, the relative who forgets to leave after the movie ends, all mildly irritating. But a casual couch-surfer who overstays his surf welcome and evolves into a six-month squatter, feeding on your goodwill like a leech on a nice calf. That's less friendly favor and more endurance challenge.

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  • So when you turn down your dad’s ex-wife, your cousin and her four kids, and yet another friend who just loves your spare space, you’re not heartless, you’re just enforcing basic boundaries that keep your home from transforming into a revolving door saloon.

    If people want stability, maybe they can think hard, maybe come up with a concept for people in their situation, maybe something convenient and lovely, something scenic with top-notch service, something called “a hotel.”

  • "AITA because we won’t let anyone live with us?"

    "My dad's ex, uncle and friend keep bringing up moving with us"
    via ChristinaKurtz
  • Background- we have a beautiful 4200 sq foot home in a beautiful neighborhood. We have no children and it's our happy place.
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • Several years back we allowed a friend to live with us as she was going through a divorce and moving back to her home state. It ended up being a
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • disaster. She was an alc ic and want was suppose to be a few weeks ended up being 6 months before we kicked her out.
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • Cheezburger Image 10494047744
    via epicurean

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My husband and I made a pact that no one would be able to stay longer than a visit like Christmas week, etc. since then we've had the following:
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • my dads ex wife wanted to move in as she was having financial issues: we said NO
    via Tricky-Flower3406

  • "Just for a couple of days" ya know?

    Cheezburger Image 10494052352
    via SrdjanPav

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • my uncle wanted us to take in my cousin and her 4 children because she was experiencing homelessness due to her problem and he
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • wanted them to be in a stable environment. ( so it's ok to make our environment unstable???) . We said NO
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • now another friend keeps bringing up moving with us because we have all this room. Again we said NO.
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • We are getting very tired of people continuing to move in as we have the room! Are we being ?
    via Tricky-Flower3406
  • Competitive-Maize996 When I had a house that big, people would come out of the woodwork trying to get space in there. You have to stand your ground to keep your peace.
    via Competitive-Maize996
  • lotusblossom60 I had a woman whose house got destroyed in a natural disaster. Come and stay with me for two months. She was the most selfish b I've ever met in my life. She ate all my food. She had a party
    via lotusblossom60
  • when I went away for a weekend. She rearranged stuff in my kitchen how she liked it to be. I could literally go on for a half an hour. The reason I didn't say anything was because she was in my
    via lotusblossom60
  • was because she was in my friend group and women can be so friggin bitchy. The only reason she left was because I told her that someone was coming to stay. She literally left at the last possible minute.
    via lotusblossom60
  • sarahmegatron ΝΤΑ It's really r de for your friends and family to keep trying to convince you to allow them to move in with you and your husband. And specifically in your cousin's
    via sarahmegatron
  • case, she's going to have so many struggles and issues that it would be a nightmare to have her live in your home, she needs real help.
    via sarahmegatron
  • Adorable_Click9074 NTA. Your response is: "This is our home; not a hotel. Which, if it were, you would be paying a daily rate."
    via Adorable_Click9074
  • pixyfire NTA. I've "helped people out with a short-term place to stay" a few times and I will never do it again. If they don't have it together enough to have a place to
    via pixyfire
  • stay today, they are not going to have it together enough to have a place to stay in 6 months. Hold your ground.
    via pixyfire
  • MadreBella NTA. I live alone in a 2000sf house because my daughter left for college and now career and my husband of 24 years left when she did. It's been 6 years and just the last two I have really started enjoying the sanctuary of my home decorating how I
    via MadreBella
  • want, keeping it super clean, etc. Recently my niece was accepted to a local university and my SIL- who I love - has been insinuating jokingly but not jokingly that my niece can live with me. She's welcome here ANY time. If her dorm mate is sick or she just needs to study or
    via MadreBella
  • needs a college break she can come on over- but she's not living with me. I work 50+ hours a week and often dinner is a tuna sandwich and some cheezits, I feel like an a hole but she has a LARGE scholarship and this just isn't something I'm comfortable with. So basically I feel your pain and you're NTA.
    via MadreBella

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